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The Day Football Died

I think we have hit rock-bottom now.

Tell me something….

What was wrong with a good old fashioned photograph taken with the chairman shaking hands with his latest recruit, pen in hand, poised to commit ink to paper on that lucrative 4 year deal?

Why is the obligatory photo taken inside an empty stadium – player resplendent in replica kit hastily nabbed from the club shop and scarf aloft now deemed as insufficient?

Hell, why is a new signing not paraded and introduce to ardent fans and asked to do some keepy-uppies like some sort of performing clown anymore?

I can’t believe I’m actually advocating the return of this pointless media stunt, but it is much more palatable than this marketing monstrosity. Can this really be taken seriously?

https://twitter.com/ManUtd/status/955500480582500353

It boils my blood. What has happened to the game of football?

MUFC…more like MTV

In the interest of fairness, Manchester United are not the only guilty party here. These silly media announcements are quite prevalent now in this social-media savvy era with many top-flight clubs choosing to shun a simple press-release and photo for an elaborate, cringe-worthy, bulbous production .

It wouldn’t surprise me if the Sanchez transfer had been signed weeks ago and the announcement was purely delayed  so that they could shoot the bloody music video first.

It just stinks. Like a ripe pile of freshly excreted manure. It smacks of more money than sense, its crass, over indulgent and absolute poppycock which makes an absolute mockery of the sport.

When I first watched this heinous production I was expecting Manchester United to cash in fully and shoehorn an appearance from Paul Pogba, but their ‘commercial wet dream’ must have been busy having his barnet pruned again that day. Maybe United missed a trick for once? Maybe they should have asked him to guest star and spit a few rhymes over the top of Alexis Sanchez’ faux piano skills.

Or United could have asked  previous No.7s to come back to the club and metaphorically hand down the famous shirt through the ages to Mr Alexis, but I can’t really think of any United No.7’s who would be so vain as to admit that they had achieved legendary status at the club by appearing in this proposed primadonna production?

Then again…….

Paul Pogba, just a poor mans Drogba…

Perhaps Paul Pogba is symptomatic of the problem with footballers these days. I’m still none the wiser as to what he does? I thought he was meant to be a highly talented footballer and one of the best midfielders in the world. I’m yet to see that supposed talent consistently. In fact his performances away from the football field creates more interest than his supposed midfield artistry.

Brand Pogba is an absolute behemoth, earning him a small country’s GDP in cash. However, in my opinion, PP’s commercial  juggernaut covers a multitude of shortcomings in his game.

At least Cristiano Ronaldo has the skills to back up the circus that surrounds him.

Where is my nearest non-league ground?

For me, it’s another nail in the top-level game. I’m hoping that, as with me, fans of the English Premier League are becoming saturated and disillusioned with the way elite football is going, much like England fans have become with the national team.

I hate this marketing buzzword, but I’m going to use it in the hope that it angers you also, but the ‘product’ is no better than it was say 10-15 years ago, in fact it has gone backwards in many respects. The competitiveness can be found further down the footballing ladder these days.

If, like me, you’re fed up of the childish habit of talking to team mates behind a cupped hand –  much like you did on the school playground when you were telling a close friend that John’s mum licked her finger and wiped his face with it before he came to school, but you didn’t want him to know you were telling someone, but just made it look blatantly obvious that you were talking about him anyway – then go and find your nearest non-league football ground and watch some real football.

Yes, I know. They will fill your seat with some other mugs cash so as far as a protest goes it will have little to no effect whatsoever, but hey, its not your problem any more, just go and support your local club and enjoy a game of football without all the hype. It’s rather refreshing.

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Paying the Penalty for focusing on the shoot-out

Roy Hodgson stated after England’s defeat in the Euro 2012 Quarter Final that, as a nation, we have a fascination with penalty shoot-outs. It is some sort of sick fascination if you ask me. It is never a comfortable experience.

I’ve never heard of Spain or Germany talk so much in the lead up to a knock out game about facing a penalty shoot-out as if the event was an inevitability, so why should we? During all press conferences leading up to the match, the focus of the discussion revolved around the penalty shoot-out. The BBC pundits were unanimous in their belief that the game would be won by England by way of a penalty shoot-out. They were obviously proved wrong, but even so their penalty prediction was correct. This raises the question, should we even be talking about this scenario? Shouldn’t we try and win the game in 90 minutes or give a damn good account of ourselves at least? I say this because when have we ever been good at penalties, surely the focus should be on making sure we don’t find ourselves in that excruciating position ever again. Losing a match is never a nice experience, ask any professional or fan, but losing in a penalty shoot-out seems to ramp the pain up to an unbearable level. Surely the mentality needs to shift from both sides of the camp, the people reporting the news and players making it?

There is a valid argument to say that Spain and Germany don’t have to worry about that scenario as much because they currently possess superior teams compared to this batch of England players and that they would more than likely have enough guile and craft to win in regulation time. What I would say is that the Greek team of 2004 are a perfect example of what can be achieved with a little belief. We didn’t believe in the quarter-final in Kiev and got what we deserved. Until England find that cockiness, that little bit of flair and are not so fixated on penalties, we will always be also-rans.

After another major tournament defeat, the propaganda began in earnest. We were told to be proud of our national football teams efforts. To a certain degree, I concur. Expectation levels were low and a quarter final appearance was on par with what we had witnessed from the team over the last couple of years. Defensively we can boast a tight back five and with the exception of possibly Gary Cahill, we were functioning at full strength. Scott Parker and Steven Gerrard provided an effective shield to repel attacks at an earlier stage; the latter always looked to spring an attack until his legs went in the second half in Kiev. However, a conventional midfield is normally formed of 3 or 4 players, in Spain’s case 6. Unfortunately James Milner and Ashley Young went missing for the vast majority of the tournament, leaving us light-weight in a crucial part of the pitch. With an off-colour Wayne Rooney and two inexperienced comrades filling his boots for half the tournament, our attacking options were blunt.

This lack of chances created, especially in the final game, could be levelled at the poor quality of ball retention; this in itself is a topic that needs to be scrutinized in detail once the dust settles. By the time Andy Carroll entered the action in the second half, our time with the ball reduced even further. Carroll did his job well as a target man, but from the balls he won easily in the air, it was soon back in the possession of the Italians, who without penetrating much, kept the ball until that opening became available. It’s disconcerting to think what may have happened if the Italians had a more potent attack.