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I’m back

A new year and a fresh start is required.

I started this blog several years ago with the intention of writing regularly about a number of subjects of interest to me and hopefully other like-minded people. 

As with many well-intentioned hobbies, life has a way of sucking the spare time we all crave into a massive black hole, never to be seen again.

We’ve all had a lot on our proverbial plate recently, so it is not a surprise. Although the ‘C’ word can’t be fully blamed for the demise of the content on this page ( I last posted something in 2017).

I’ve recently felt that with all that is going on in the world (I will try to make this a COVID free zone, I think we are bombarded with so much information – we all thought Brexit was bad enough, then COVID came along and Brexit-ed the hell out of the news) I would write weekly to find an outlet for my brain dump, as I don’t know about you, but I’ve been collecting some pretty hefty data recently and the hard drive is creaking with all the additional information entering my various orifices.

For anyone that has read my blog before you’ll know I have a keen interest in writing and running. Unfortunately running has also been hard to maintain during 2020 because of a complete lack of motivation. At the beginning of the year I began training for a the Brighton Marathon in April but March came around and the world changed overnight and the race was postponed. The reasons behind the postponement aside, it was a blessing as I was struggling to maintain a training schedule that would allow me to achieve my goal. Plus, I wasn’t enjoying running. I felt that I had to run but didn’t feel the need to run.

I had just completed a 20 mile road race, felt excruciatingly tired and couldn’t envisage me hauling my backside through that distance, let alone 26 miles ever again so even before the  decision was taken out of my hands, I was not in the right frame of mind to compete. 

This malaise continued for the rest of the year until recently. Somehow I managed to run 550 miles last year, most of that took place pre-March. With the prospect of racing being off the agenda for the foreseeable future I felt that the only way to motivate myself is to set some goals and writing about it seems to help. It also gets me in the habit of writing again so in the spirit of the time of year, I’ve hit the January sales and bagged myself a 2 for 1.

So, this post is just a flavour of things to come in 2021.

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The Day Football Died

I think we have hit rock-bottom now.

Tell me something….

What was wrong with a good old fashioned photograph taken with the chairman shaking hands with his latest recruit, pen in hand, poised to commit ink to paper on that lucrative 4 year deal?

Why is the obligatory photo taken inside an empty stadium – player resplendent in replica kit hastily nabbed from the club shop and scarf aloft now deemed as insufficient?

Hell, why is a new signing not paraded and introduce to ardent fans and asked to do some keepy-uppies like some sort of performing clown anymore?

I can’t believe I’m actually advocating the return of this pointless media stunt, but it is much more palatable than this marketing monstrosity. Can this really be taken seriously?

https://twitter.com/ManUtd/status/955500480582500353

It boils my blood. What has happened to the game of football?

MUFC…more like MTV

In the interest of fairness, Manchester United are not the only guilty party here. These silly media announcements are quite prevalent now in this social-media savvy era with many top-flight clubs choosing to shun a simple press-release and photo for an elaborate, cringe-worthy, bulbous production .

It wouldn’t surprise me if the Sanchez transfer had been signed weeks ago and the announcement was purely delayed  so that they could shoot the bloody music video first.

It just stinks. Like a ripe pile of freshly excreted manure. It smacks of more money than sense, its crass, over indulgent and absolute poppycock which makes an absolute mockery of the sport.

When I first watched this heinous production I was expecting Manchester United to cash in fully and shoehorn an appearance from Paul Pogba, but their ‘commercial wet dream’ must have been busy having his barnet pruned again that day. Maybe United missed a trick for once? Maybe they should have asked him to guest star and spit a few rhymes over the top of Alexis Sanchez’ faux piano skills.

Or United could have asked  previous No.7s to come back to the club and metaphorically hand down the famous shirt through the ages to Mr Alexis, but I can’t really think of any United No.7’s who would be so vain as to admit that they had achieved legendary status at the club by appearing in this proposed primadonna production?

Then again…….

Paul Pogba, just a poor mans Drogba…

Perhaps Paul Pogba is symptomatic of the problem with footballers these days. I’m still none the wiser as to what he does? I thought he was meant to be a highly talented footballer and one of the best midfielders in the world. I’m yet to see that supposed talent consistently. In fact his performances away from the football field creates more interest than his supposed midfield artistry.

Brand Pogba is an absolute behemoth, earning him a small country’s GDP in cash. However, in my opinion, PP’s commercial  juggernaut covers a multitude of shortcomings in his game.

At least Cristiano Ronaldo has the skills to back up the circus that surrounds him.

Where is my nearest non-league ground?

For me, it’s another nail in the top-level game. I’m hoping that, as with me, fans of the English Premier League are becoming saturated and disillusioned with the way elite football is going, much like England fans have become with the national team.

I hate this marketing buzzword, but I’m going to use it in the hope that it angers you also, but the ‘product’ is no better than it was say 10-15 years ago, in fact it has gone backwards in many respects. The competitiveness can be found further down the footballing ladder these days.

If, like me, you’re fed up of the childish habit of talking to team mates behind a cupped hand –  much like you did on the school playground when you were telling a close friend that John’s mum licked her finger and wiped his face with it before he came to school, but you didn’t want him to know you were telling someone, but just made it look blatantly obvious that you were talking about him anyway – then go and find your nearest non-league football ground and watch some real football.

Yes, I know. They will fill your seat with some other mugs cash so as far as a protest goes it will have little to no effect whatsoever, but hey, its not your problem any more, just go and support your local club and enjoy a game of football without all the hype. It’s rather refreshing.

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A piece about…..no, I’ve forgotten already.

Whatever happened to our attention span?

Whatever happened to our ability to concentrate over an extended period of time?

Why can’t we focus on tasks like we used to?

‘My attentiveness remains unchanged’, or words to that effect, I hear you cry.

So why, when it comes to sports entertainment, are the key decision makers at the very top catering more and more for the daydreamers? The glazed-over brigade? The open-mouthed breathers?

In what seems like a never ending crusade to miniaturize, glamorize, simplify and dumb down bastions of the sporting world in the chase for the golden pot of sterling/dollar/euros/rupees (delete as applicable), I have to question where this will all end?

Will the Marathon, which some consider to the be the ultimate challenge in long-distance running, be deemed too tedious for our waning concentration?

Inside the marketing melting pot

‘I have it!’ exclaims a hipster marketeer, munching on chia seeds and gulping down a serving of coffee from a pigs bladder because some science boffin proclaims that after hundreds of years, drinking from a conventional cup interferes with the natural flavours of his favourite caffeinated beverage. ‘Lets reduce the marathon to a 10k fun run!’ The man dressed in tweed has never run before. ‘…and why not throw in a Gladiator-esque travelator at each kilometre mark…’ He takes another swig from his pigs bladder. ‘… I’m sure Sir Mo Farah would jump through perilous hoops of fire whilst being chased down by a ravenous African lion if we were to pay him a boat load of cash, don’t you?.

Well here’s one for you Mr Weird Beard Twiddler….

Why not jazz Formula one up? Why spend millions of pounds tweaking the widgets of an internal combustion engine, shaving millimetres from the wing to streamline its aerodynamics and employing a plethora of scantily clad women to parade up and down the paddock when the template for fun, automotive shenanigans already exists in the form of a £40 video game, why not turn F1 into Mario Kart?

I would pay good money to watch Sebastian Vettel fire a banana skin or a turtle shell from the back of his car directly into the path of Lewis Hamilton.

Actually, after some thought this would be an improvement on the current iteration of F1, maybe I have a touch of the hipster about me after all?

Back in my day…

What really irks me is that sports that have been a popular pastime for over a century and remained predominantly unchanged in that period are now deemed to be not conducive to the way we live our lives. Call me a traditionalist, but that is poppycock. Actually, poppycock is probably perceived to be an outdated turn of phrase, not suited to the intricacies of modern living these days, much like test cricket, so maybe I would fare better in a bygone era.

The latest sport to receive a coat of glossy razzamatazz is netball. Dubbed as the ‘World’s most exiciting form of netball’ the British Fast5 All stars is a tournament which includes 8 British superleague netball teams, all predictably known by US inspired meteorological monikers, ‘Loughborough Lightning’, ‘Surrey Storm’ and ‘Manchester Mizzle’ (actually, I made that one up, but you get the point) So what is so different about this format? What was so wrong with the traditional game that a change was needed?

Well, it is a familiar story i’m afraid? The tournament structure is described as having a ‘fast-paced format’. Yet again, time seems to be an issue as matches have been shortened from the traditional 15 minutes quarters to just 12 minutes with no intervals to complete an entire match. Unfortunately 2 regular players will miss out as the typical 7 a side netball team has been reduced to 5 a side. Maybe the 16 players unlucky not to be selected will be rounded up, given pompoms and a rara skirt and ask to provide the court side entertainment, again employing a US-style of entertainment that never quite manages to translate itself well here in the UK.

So essentially, the entire format is less ‘bang for your buck’ compared to a traditonal format. Why build the intensity, the drama and endure the twists and turns of a regular league season when we can ram it all into five hours and be home just in time for bed. We can all get on with our lives without the pesky distraction of a pastime played and watched by millions all over the globe?

I genuinely fear for the future of some of our most beloved sports. If you are a fan of traditional format sports as I am, then I urge you to attend more of the longer format events, make it difficult for the money-men to have their way and help halt the market saturation of these pale imitation, faux-sporting events.